Squealing men and the sad loss of Eddie

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.  ~Bradley Millar

After I had calmed down and had been the centre of mocking the entire evening we packed up the van to get ready for bed. Mark was getting the sheets ready in the van, while the rest of us tidied up our stuff at the back. Though the guys had been laughing at my ridiculous adventure earlier, the second the dingo howling started again they leaped up. We could hear the dingoes walking around in the bushes next to our van but it was too dark to see. We were all facing the van when Dick suddenly noticed a dingo standing behind him inches away. “WHOA!” was hardly spoken when the four of us lunged ourselves into the van within a split second, ending up landing on each other. Dick and Mark squealing and screaming: “Shut the door! Shut the door! Shut the door!” ..mahahahaha…who’s a stupid wee girl now? Four other dingos appeared, the one next to our van looking at us sheepishly while Ben slammed the door shut before it felt welcome to join us. Scared to death but feeling rather stupid, the four of us sat in the back of the van peering through the windows to see what the danger dogs were up to. After scaring off another girl in a camper-van across from ours, they set off into the dark howling.

As guys do, they laugh at how scared the other person looked, take the piss out of that other person to disguise their own humiliation and in the meantime throw worried glances over to the bushes. Am I glad I don’t have to deal with that, I can actually use the excuse to be a girl and it is all  understood immediately.

Sleeping that night was a bit of a mission for me. Tired but feeling kind of jumpy, I stayed awake for quite a while listening to strange noises and Ben’s snoring. Then, as expected, I heard multiple footsteps and saw shadows move across the side of the tent. The dingoes had not given up on us yet and a few circled the tent for a while. My heart thumping, I tried to block it out by pulling the covers over my ears. I was determined not to create another overly dramatic girlie scene again. The clattering of crockery, chewing and howling took over the silence. Ben straightened up in fright, but then relaxed. “They’re just eating our rice leftovers, go back to sleep.” He turned over while I sat there not feeling comforted at all. One of the dingoes kept walking closely past our tent, sniffing. Now scratching at the bottom of our tent, as if to get in, Ben sat up too. “It’s trying to get in your tent!” Dick yelled out of the window. “We know!” I replied panicky.

“Ains… do you still have those muesli-bars in your bag?” Ben asked accusingly. I had, I always had them in my bag and my bag was always in the tent at night. It contained all my valuables (and food, I’m always hungry) and I preferred to keep it with me. It all went ape-shit from here. Ben started yelling..”How can you! There’s dingoes looking for food and you have food IN the tent!” I just started crying. I didn’t dare to open the tent to throw them out. Ben was freaking out, I was freaking out and got angry at Mark and Dick for leaving the pans with rice out, everyone got angry at me for being a little cry baby and being stupid enough to have food in the tent with me. Then Mark and Dick got involved and it became a bit of a yelling fest for a while between the car and the tent, mostly directed at me.

Mark and Dick eventually opened the van door and started throwing things at the dingoes in an attempt to scare them off. It worked! They placed all the pans in the van and threw my bag in there too, before making clear to cut the crap and now really heading off to bed.

The next night we gathered around a big lantern we had lying around with an English couple; Nick and Nicky. Not only were their names funny, it was nice to meet some new people. As you know lights attract insects. Well, tonight quite an interesting little fellow joined our company. A praying mantis,  a pretty big one actually. I’d only seen them in nature programmes and was absolutely ecstatic to see one up close. During the evening we found out that Eddie, as we had named him, was quite tame and friendly. All of us took turns letting him crawl over our arms and hands and when we tried to put him back down on the ground, Eddie would crawl right back onto our knees and make his way up to our hands again. Cute little fella…:)

The occasional dingo howl was heard throughout the evening and made us all laugh, but no unwanted guests tonight. Eddie accompanied us all night with his crawling curiosity.

When it was time for bed we tried to set Eddie free. Still trying to crawl back onto us when we got up, we really had to say goodnight to him and leave him. The light went off and was followed by a loud crunching noise and Mark’s guilty voice saying “Uh-oh..” Turning back on the light he stood there staring at the sole of his thong, covered in a green mash that was formally known as Eddie.

Nick, Nicky and the rest of us stared at him in disbelief. “NNooooo! He killed Eddie!” While Mark looked really guilty. “I’m sorry, it’s just so dark..I didn’t mean to..”

So sad to see our little friend end up squashed under a shoe. But that’s life isn’t it? (I’d like to insert a funny or wise quote here, but I can’t think of one to match this incident) Karijini was an experience to remember nonetheless.

A few years have passed now and I have overcome my fear of dingoes and I have even managed to pat one in a zoo. Yes, a tame one… but that’s not the point. Although I still believe I would wet my pants if the same same thing would happen again. Also Eddie is still in our hearts, may he rest in peace.

 

For more photo’s

Dingo Dash

Lesson of the day: Little girls who go walk-about in the bush alone, will attract dingoes. They will chase you like you’re a Happy Meal.

The North-Western Pilbara region holds Australia’s most breathtaking national park, Karijini. In my opinion of course. Red rock formations light up against the green vegetation all around. Add a brightly coloured sunset overlooking this widespread landscape and you’ll get a good idea of why I love this area so much.

Thrashing our ‘old faithful’ of a van over the dusty dirt roads through the midst of this endless scenery, gave us all the feeling that this was what our trip was about. Like true outback explorers, we drove around for a while to see what Karijini had to offer. We discovered gorges, swam in the fresh water pools and screamed our lungs out while jumping off cliffs.

Back home I’d usually unwind by having a long walk after dinner, Ipod on, letting my thoughts flow, it was my little moment to myself I really valued. So after this amazing day, with the sun still up for a little while longer, I decided it was the perfect time to have a little wander around.

During all this driving around I felt like I had started to master this whole ‘sense of directions’ thing. Confident and excited I told the guys I wouldn’t be long, I mean, if I just stuck to the paths it would be fine. Heading off, I tried to make mental notes of at which tree I had turned left or right. Then after a few minutes I came across a sign indicating a 300 m return walk ahead. Ah.. 300 m, I could fit that in before the sun goes down! I started the walk on the grass-overgrown path but had to stop abruptly after  a few minutes. A dingo came out of nowhere,  stopped in the middle of the path and stood watching me, in silence – I started to panic.

Yes.. I am aware some people say dingoes are like pets, cuddly pets in fact, absolutely harmless. But then there is another group of people that say dingoes are like wolves. They aren’t big but they are wild dogs, carnivores. I am 5 foot nothing, to them a meal on legs.

I was terrified. Glued to the spot all I could remember from my days working as a veterinary nurse was to not look it in the eyes and back away slowly. As soon as I was able to move my feet I did exactly that. Still walking backwards, staring at the ground, I backed off slowly until the staring dingo was out of sight. From there all I could feel was my heart beating and the blind panic that took over. I started running as fast as I could, hoping it wouldn’t chase me, mistaking me for a half-priced meal-deal. Newspaper headlines flashed through my mind (I’m not exaggerating, they really did) “Backpacker attacked by dingoes whilst out for a walk”. Bloody hell! How could I have been so stupid!

While running I heard howling, which turned into more howls coming from all directions. The panic increased when I realised I couldn’t remember if I had to turn left or right at a fork in the road. I blindly chose to go left. SHIT! Nothing looked familiar. I kept running until I saw a camper-van through the trees ahead. Thank god, human beings! It wasn’t the camping-ground I stayed at but a French couple handed me a map and gave me directions. I must have looked like a complete crazy person, almost in tears, out of breath. I couldn’t thank them enough and ran off to the path where I should have gone right instead of left. Turned out it would have led me straight to the right camping ground.

Relieved to see the guys I explained what had happened. More howling, now close by. The guys laughed it off but said they’d keep an eye out for me.

Those smiles would turn into screaming soon…..

To be continued..

The locust massacre

Our stallion on four wheels had made it out of Exmouth safely. No wailing sirens chasing us down the deserted streets. Still, going into hiding for the night seemed like a good idea, you know, just in case. Cape Range National Park provided us with a legal camping-spot on the beach, looking out over a  gap in between two cliffs with the sea at our feet. We set up a camp-fire under the stars and truly felt like the luckiest bastards alive.

The next day we spent driving all day to Karijini National Park. A long but beautiful drive, until it happened, in the outback: the female monthly drama started. Dying of cramps, overwhelmed by the heat and flies in the back of the van, I tried as hard as I could to not think about it. To me, the worst thing that could happen, I mean, try and explain your mood swings to three guys. Suddenly the 20 flies that got trapped in the back of the van with me, were all I could see. Annoyed , angry and armed with a thong (Ozzie translation) they were the perfect outlet for venting my frustrations.

It got late and we found a quiet roadhouse to crash for the night. During the drive it was obvious we had hit some insects on the way. The headlights acted as an insect magnet and we had to stop sometimes to clear the victims off our front window. About half an hour before we got to the roadhouse, the splattering noise increased by the second. When we got out of the van it became clear why. Millions, I shit you not, millions of locusts! In the air, on the ground… stuck in my bikini top.  Screaming like a little girl… It was quite an impressive sight.

Witness the bastards.

Setting up camp was madness. We had to do it all in the dark because turning on the headlights meant a full-on locust attack from all angles. After the tent was set up, I walked over to the bathrooms to freshen up a little and wash away my moody attitude. Walking through the complete darkness, I suddenly realised the crunching under my feet definitely weren’t branches. It wasn’t until I switched on my phone to use as a torch and aimed it on the ground, that I realised I was walking on a thick layer of dead/half dead/alive locusts. The entire ground was covered in them! Ok, they were a bit annoying but I had no intention of killing them.. unlike flies, but that’s a different story. I was already halfway and stood there for a bit, grossed out and contemplating what to do. I really needed that bathroom! So I carefully walked on my tip-toes, hoping to avoid another massacre under my feet.

Guess what locusts attract? Yes! Frogs! Millions of them too! Fast food flying around, if I were a frog, I wouldn’t miss out. Frogs landing on my feet, sliding down my leg after an attempted hop, locusts covering everything, I finally made it to the bathroom. Opening that door felt like my personal Everest. Until I switched on the light and had a look inside. At least 30 frogs decorated the toilet bowl from inside out, dead and alive locusts, ants and spiders covered the entire little space, it was like insect heaven. The other frogs happily hopped around with their tongues sticking out, having something land on them every second. They must have felt like the luckiest bastards alive.

Remember the scene from ” Raiders of the Lost Ark”, with the snakes, and the one with the spiders? Well, this made Indiana’s adventures look like a walk in the park!

Great… now what? Nothing could cheer me up now. This whole ‘Living the Dream’ thing started to show some dark sides. I growled but started laughing out loud straight after. It’s just one of those days, might as well look on the bright side of it.

Insect mayhem like this also meant snakes. Someone once told me to stomp my feet around before squatting, to scare off any nearby snakes. Whether this is true or not, I didn’t care. Rather have myself look like a complete idiot than having a snake hanging from my bum. So thankfully in the complete darkness, I stomped around a little, took the risk and squatted down in the grass. Clutching a toilet roll in between my chest and chin, balancing on one hand and using my free hand to swat away any creepy crawlies from flying against my bum, or drowning. See, even I have a heart.

I tried to run back to the tent this time. It seemed I was the only one who had witnessed this crazy insect night, everyone had passed out.

“Welcome to Australia”.. I still hear Dick’s voice echoing in the back of my mind. Yeah..cheers mate.